A New Year...

"I cannot go back to yesterday 
                         because I was a different person then."
                                   -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
     

I'll be honest, coming up with resolutions for this year has been a little difficult. I feel like I have a lot of self improvement to do, but I'm not quite sure where to start. There are holes in my life that need filling. I feel the need for greater spirituality, better self-control, and more creativity. Frankly, I don't know how I am going to accomplish filling these holes, so my 2015 goals are going to be malleable and may change throughout the year, but this is where I am going to start:

Spirituality

1. Say my personal prayers every day. 
I believe that having a personal relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Chris leads to greater self confidence and a healthy respect for life and for those relationships we create during this life. Prayer helps set the tone for our day and gives us a greater perspective. So I created a good, old-fashioned, paper calendar where I will mark off my progress. It is helpful to have something so concrete to look at. I don't want to see any blanks squares amid all of my X's.

2. Read the Book of Mormon as a family.
Hearing the stories in the scriptures reminds me of the "great things the Lord has done for [my] fathers" and also helps give an eternal perspective to this life. We have recently started to incorporate reading the Book of Mormon into our bedtime routine with Liv. This has been helpful for the whole family because as we strive to teach Liv, we learn ourselves.

3. Go to the temple three times this year.
The temple is the closest place to heaven besides our own homes. The closest temple to us is the Washington DC temple. We have never lived so far away from a temple (which is still pretty close compared to many of our brothers and sister around the world). Although three times a year doesn't sound like much, I feel that it is going to be enough of a challenge for us while we work with a med school schedule, one car, and two kids. :)

Self-Control

1. No senseless media after 10:00pm on weekdays.
Right now a lot of my nights are wasted on Facebook, Pinterest, and phone games. Generally, after 10:00pm nothing productive happens. I just stay up really late doing silly things and pay for it the next morning. So, the phone goes off at 10:00pm SHARP! I won't watch movies or shows after 10:00. I used the caveat of no "senseless" media after 10:00 because I believe that I can do some productive or useful things on the computer. Blogging, for example. :)

2. Get healthy.
I don't really want to detail my health plan here because this often has the opposite effect for me. The more people who know about my diet/workout/whatever plan, the more likely I am to fail. I had to put this goal out there, but just don't ask me about it. :)

Creativity
Now here is where I really struggle. Being a stay-at-home mom has its challenges in this regard. I am not going to school every day but I still want to expand my mind. I am not working outside the home but I still want to feel productive. So far my creative outlet has been in decorating my home (which many of my friends can attest, is still pretty pathetic). So this section of my goals is where I will be most flexible. I would like to take this year to discover a new (or rediscover an old) talent that I can foster inside my home. So that is my first goal. I have a few other creative or fun goals as well.

1. Discover a new talent.
This will require me to get out of my comfort zone and try new things. Possibilities include: quilting, sewing, sign language, interior design, and anything else that comes my way!

2. Observe, then serve.
What does this have to do with creativity, you ask? I think it takes a lot of creativity to know how to serve someone. It takes more than the rote "Let me know if there's anything I can do" statement. It takes a good amount of thought to do something really helpful to another person. This was a goal I had last year and I failed miserably at it. To help me this year I am going to include another person or family in my personal prayers each day. Hopefully this will help me listen to the spirit to discern how I can best serve them. Then I am going to try to do at least one act of service a week. This could be something as simple as a phone call or as elaborate as helping plant a garden. Who knows what kinds of things I can help with this year!

3.Go on at least four day trips to visit historical sites.
This is a "just for fun" goal, but I think we all need at least one of these! There are soooo many amazing things to do near where we live and I don't want to miss out!  I've already made a list of some of the great places I want to visit: Amish town (Lancaster), Gettysburg, Philadelphia, Washington DC, New York City, Boston, Martha's Vineyard, Falling Waters (for you, Linds), Reading Terminal Market (America's oldest farmers' market), and Strites Orchard just to name a few.
*If any of you east coasters have any suggestions for my list, please let me know!

These goals aren't as concrete as many of my 2014 goals, but I feel that if I keep them in my mind and measure what I can, then I will accomplish many of my goals and develop myself in important and needed ways. Wish me luck!

2014 in Review

Last year I made 14 New Year's Resolutions and put them in writing on this blog. I will say that even though I did not complete all of my goals, I think it was very helpful to have them "visible" and have easy access to review them. So here is my report:

1. Go to the gym at least three times a week.

With my new gym membership to Planet Fitness and high resolve to live healthy, I'm hoping to create good habits that last.

I did a really great job of this while we were living in Utah. I found that I enjoyed going to the gym and having some time to be alone, be active, and work on my personal health. I'll admit when we moved to Pennsylvania (and I was six months pregnant and without a gym) my habit quickly died. This is something I will revisit in 2015, although I will need a new game plan with two kids!

2. Get into med school! 

I see this journey to medical school as a joint journey, so it's one of my resolutions as well. 

Chris was accepted to Penn State's Hershey School of Medicine. We have found this first year of med school to be difficult but also very fulfilling. Chris is doing very well in school and is involved in ophthalmology research with faculty. 

3. Visit parents in Italy. 

Chris and I have talked about going to Europe together since we got married. If it's going to happen before we turn fifty, it's gotta happen now! Plus, what better motivation to have than to see Grammy and Babbo?

After we found out Chris was accepted to medical school, we decided to take the big European trip we had been dreaming about. It was our last hurrah before our grueling ten year med school journey began. We spent two weeks in Italy and France, six of those days with my wonderful parents. It was epic!

4. Read 28 books

This was inspired by my friend's goal last year. 28 books because I am 28 years old. I used to love reading and I haven't done much of it lately. So, first on the list is The Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet. 

I didn't quite read 28 books, but I did read more than I have in years past. The 2014 list consisted of:

*Zornan: Peak Crosser, by Adam Mangum

The Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, by Jamie Ford

Painted Girls, by Cathy Marie Buchanan  (NOT recommended)

The God Who Weeps, by Terryl L. Givens

Teatime for the Firefly, by Shona Patel 

Paper Towns, by John Greene

Inferno, by Dan Brown

*When the Emperor Was Divine, by Julie Otsuka

Divergent, by Veronica Roth

Eragon, by Christopher Paolini

*The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak

Prospero, by Adam Mangum

Fates, by Kayla MacNeille

Mindless Eating, by Brian Wansink

       *my favorites

5. Go to festival of colors.

I lived in Provo, Utah for four years and never attended this Hari Krishna festival! If there's a possibility that we are leaving Utah this year, I need to check this off my bucket list. 

This was definitely a one of a kind experience. I enjoyed it and would probably do it again. But I would be much better prepared!

6. Finish Olivia's baby book.

I love Heritage Makers to preserve memories. Liv is almost one and I would love to have a keepsake to give to her when she is older. 

This is so close to being finished! I finally got some pictures that were stored on my in-laws computer so it will be finished and off to publishing soon.

7. Get to know four neighbors.

This is actually a goal given to our ward by our bishop. This is something that I struggle with (putting myself out there) so I thought I would add it to my list to better myself. 

This was not fulfilled until I moved to Pennsylvania. It has been easier here to get to know people around me. My next door neighbor, Frances, is an amazing grandma who thinks of us often. There are many people on my street who have been so welcoming to us and hopefully I have been kind and welcoming to them as well. :)

8. Read Book of Mormon. 

Another ward goal and it's been a little while since I've read the Book of Mormon cover to cover.

Unfortunately, this did not happen. However, we have started a new bedtime routine with Olivia which includes reading from the Book of Mormon and family prayer every night. We started with the first chapter of First Nephi tonight!

9. Have personal and family prayer every night. 
It's the last part of the goal that I need to work on - consistency. 

Darn that consistency. It was never my friend. So this goal continues. And to help me with this goal I have printed out a small, one-page calendar that has all the months in the year. I am going to mark off each day that I say my prayers so at the end of the year I will have a completely filled in calendar. That is right, I am resorting to elementary school tactics! I may even break out the smiley face stickers! :)

10. Make a quiet book for Liv.

I know it will be a little while before Liv will need a quiet book, but I also know that it will take me a long time to make it. So, I will start now. 

Nope, not even started. I may try to tackle this this year...or I may just buy one. :)

11. Take Chris to the Mona rope swing.

Another bucket list item before we leave Utah. I had fun memories there and I want to share them with Chris. 

We were so busy the summer before we moved to PA, that this just didn't seem to be high enough priority. But I am looking forward to creating more fun and new memories going forward!

12. Disconnect with the phone to be more productive.
I'm not horrible with this, but I could definitely be better. 

I feel that I did a pretty good job with this. During the summer I took Liv on many outside adventures and in the winter I have tackled a lot of home projects. It has been a lot of fun!

13. Choose to be happier.

Especially when I'm hungry and/or sleepy, when trials come, or when my future seems uncertain, I still have agency and can choose to be happy. 

I think I've done a good job of this as well. Not to say that I have been perfectly happy all the time. But medical school has brought a lot of changes for me and for how our family functions. I have tried to be supportive, happy and optimistic about these changes and the new path our life has taken. 

14. Choose to look out for others (observe, then serve).

This was suggested by my relief society teacher and I knew it was something I needed to work on. Mostly the observing part. 

I'm still pretty bad at this. I think I am the worst observer in history! Even to those I am closest with I can be pretty oblivious. I haven't figured out yet how I can make this a measurable goal, but I will work on it. 

So, all in all, I achieved about half of my goals.  And amazingly, I don't feel bad about that! As I said in the beginning, having these goals written down gives me a visual sense of my progress, whereas in years past I have vaguely tried to work on things without much sense of how I was doing. It is fun to see where the year has taken me! 

Calvin's Blessing

This Christmas we had the gift of being able to be in Utah with our family and friends for the holidays. So we took this opportunity to give Calvin a name and a blessing surrounded by our loved ones.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka Mormons) we do not baptize children until they have reached the age when they are considered accountable for their actions. In our church that is eight years old. However, when they are still infants we often give them what we call a "name and a blessing." Usually the father of the child, if he is a worthy priesthood holder, will perform this ordinance. He will address our Heavenly Father, give the child a name, and then give a priesthood blessing as he feels guided by the Holy Ghost.

This is such a special ordinance as it focuses on the potential of each individual child. One of the greatest things of parenthood is seeing how divine a child truly is and what they can become. I know this is how Heavenly Father feels about us. He can see our potential even when we can't see it ourselves. During a priesthood blessing, the giver is guided by the Spirit to help us see just a glimmer of the potential Heavenly Father sees in each and every child.

It was hard this time to jot down a few notes, as Olivia was more interested in climbing under the pews then sitting still, but here are a few things from Calvin's blessing that stood out to me.

Christopher blessed Calvin to stand strong and be an example to those around him. I can see Calvin following in his dad's footsteps on this one. Chris was always an example to the younger boys in his ward and I hope Calvin can be as well. He also blessed Calvin with a drive to succeed in the important things in life. That is interesting wording, noting that there are things in life that are important to succeed in and others that may simply be distractions.  He blessed Calvin with wisdom in his decisions. This will be especially important as Calvin grows up in a continually challenging world. And finally, he blessed Calvin with the desire to follow the Lord's teachings throughout his life. This could be the most important of all, as a desire is the first step to any action or change.

Christopher was surrounded by his father, his brothers, my brothers and a few close friends. We are of course missing my father who is with my mother in Italy serving a mission, Chris's brother, Matt, who is living in Texas, and my brother-in-law, Adam, who is living in Minnesota. Know that we miss you and love you!

Calvin's Birth Story Part II

After a very hectic and confusing morning, the big moment had arrived! 

But Chris hadn't yet. 

There was no going back. I had told the resident doctor to break my water and she didn't waste a second. 

It was at this opportune moment that the attending decided to introduce herself to me. You know, just to reassure me that she was around. But unless she was going to help get this baby out of me, I really didn't care. I'm pretty sure I had a "that's nice, but get out of the way" look on my face. 

And right after that, Chris ran into the room. Now there was a face that I was glad to see. 

Apparently Chris got to live out the epic pregnancy scene you see in all the chick flicks. He screeched up to the valet in front of the hospital and threw his keys at the young employee. "You need to fill out some paperwork," the employee shouted after him. "My wife is having a baby RIGHT NOW," Chris shouted back! After a second hesitation the valet told him to go. Chris ran to the elevators (then had to wait because there are no stairs to the labor and delivery unit) and then sprinted to my room. 

And he made it. He made it for everything that mattered. He made it to hold my hand as I screamed like a wild animal. He made it to tell me I could do it even though I kept saying I couldn't. And he made it to offer his dose of comedic relief by making fun of me and the poor medical student who was being scarred by watching me give birth. He made it to see his son born and he made it to cut the umbilical cord. 

The nurses told me that we checked into the hospital at 5:30am and Calvin was born at 5:57. Everything went by so fast. I was pushing and screaming and then they were laying this beautiful, messy baby on my chest. When they took him away to be weighed and measured I was feeling so overwhelmed. I was so amazed and happy to have baby boy with us. But I was also simply shocked. I don't think I was mentally prepared to have a baby yet. Chris and I sat in awe at this totally unexpected birthday gift. 

I got over the shock very quickly when they gave me my clean baby for some skin to skin time. He was perfect! 7 lbs even and 21 inches long. He nursed right away and you could tell he was ready to be here. 

After running all of the usual tests, the nurses left us alone to enjoy these precious first moments of life with our baby. That is always a special time that I cherish with Chris. After about an hour I was transferred to my recovery room and it was time for Chris to go class. Calvin was so thoughtful to come before Christopher's class started. :)

Since I didn't have an epidural and I didn't tear, I was feeling pretty good after delivery. Chris was in class and we don't have family out here so my room was pretty quite. But I have to say that I enjoyed that. It was so relaxing to just sit and cuddle baby boy. Another benefit - lots of time to think about what to name this baby! We had a few ideas but we hadn't decided on a name yet. Our choices: Calvin Scott, James Tanner, and Jakub Scott. Each of them had specific meaning to us. So while Chris was in class I had time to think. I decided that I wanted the middle name to be Scott, after Chris's middle name. So that narrowed it down to Calvin or Jakub. But as I held baby boy, the name Calvin seemed to suit him more than Jakub. Plus, I knew that Calvin was Chris's favorite. He grew up reading Calvin and Hobbes (and owns multiple comic books). So Calvin it was! We filled out the birth certificate forms right before it was time to leave.

You know, I always said the only way I wouldn't have an epidural when I gave birth was if it happened so fast that there was no time for it. I just didn't think it would ever actually happen. But after the fact I can say that I was really glad I had the experience. Our bodies are amazing things that have ways of coping with pain and making us forget it almost the very next day. :) I'd like to say I would do it again. But let's face it, I'd probably need to have another crazy surprise for that to happen. 

But any way they get here, we are just so happy to have two beautiful, healthy children. Each one has brought a fun dynamic to our home and we love them and all their craziness! 

Professional photos taken by Hillary Muelleck Photography

Calvin's Birth Story Part 1 - Birthday Surprises!

Penn State Medical Center
Photo by Hillary Muelleck Photography

Many of you know that Chris's birthday was on November 6th. We had some fun things planned for his birthday. However, as with everything in our life, nothing went as planned. It was better!

At 3:00am on November 6th I woke up feeling a little crampy. My stomach hurt, but it didn't feel like any contractions I had felt before. I just thought I had eaten something weird. So I did what my dad always says to do when you have a stomach ache - go to the bathroom! TMI alert - I spent the next hour trying to go to the bathroom with moderate success. But I still didn't feel any better!

At this point in time I started to realize that my "cramps" were coming in regular intervals. I woke up Chris so he could share in my pain. I started timing my "cramps" and how far apart they were. I started to think that something else might be going on. So I called the triage nurse to explain my symptoms and see if I should go to the hospital. But of course, since it was the middle of the night I was routed to some obscure call center in Alabama or somewhere. It took over half an hour to get through all the bureaucratic red tape. When I finally talked to a nurse I was in a lot of pain and getting frustrated with all of the talking and waiting. She confirmed that we should go to the hospital but didn't say anything about labor or what was possibly going on. So Chris and I piled into the car, still not certain of what to think. I think we were in denial that I was in labor because my due date still seemed far away. I mean, I hadn't even packed my hospital bag, made freezer meals, or deep cleaned the house yet!

Driving to the hospital I was in a lot of pain. But when Chris offered me a wheel chair I adamantly declined. No way was I going to be caught in a wheel chair - I mean I was just pregnant! (More on the irony of this later.) We made it to the third floor where I collapsed into a chair in the waiting room because there wasn't anyone at the desk to greet us. When Chris finally got someone's attention they began to admit me into the hospital.

I remember feeling surprised that everyone was so calm. I mean, I was definitely freaking out inside. Here I was, going into what I thought was preterm labor, and everyone was treating it as though this was a routine thing. Which for them, I guess it was. But this was all new to me. I had never felt anything like this before. (Remember, with Olivia I was in blissful ignorance due to an epidural.)

Chris left me at this point to drive back home and give instructions to our friend who had so graciously come over to watch Liv. I still was in denial that I was in labor so I told Chris I would call him if anything important was going on.

And it turned out that something very important was going on! I was laid on a temporary bed, asked a few questions about my medical history, and checked for dilation. Turns out that I was 100% effaced and dilated to a 9! So they moved me into an official labor and delivery room and prepped for the little guy to come.

But Chris wasn't here! I had tried to text him and call him but he wasn't answering. Finally, the nurse called him on the hospital phone and was able to reach him. I was in a lot of pain and felt a little out of it. But I remember hearing the nurse telling Chris that I was in labor and that he better get to the hospital PRONTO! She told him that the baby might be born before he got here.

I couldn't believe this was really happening. I was gripping the sides of my hospital bed and trying not to move as they put the IV into my arm. The doctor was going to break my water when one of the nurses asked if we should wait for the husband. I asked them how long we would have after they broke my water before the baby was born. The answer - this baby is ready to come out right now. As soon as we break your water, you'll be ready to start pushing.

So I said we should wait...

And then I had another very painful contraction...
                                                    ...and I told them to break my water!

Chris had better hurry because this baby and I weren't waiting any longer!


To be continued.

Pumpkins and Parades

I think the Hershey natives love October. Of course, I agree with them wholeheartedly. I mean, all the best things happen in October. The leaves are fully changing into vibrant reds and oranges, pumpkin-pie-spiced concoctions pop up everywhere, riding around on a pile of hay suddenly becomes cool, and All Hallow's Eve is celebrated by dressing up like a crazy person and eating ridiculous amounts of sugar. Oh, and it's my birthday month. So like I said, best month of the year!

And Liv and I have fully taken advantage of this month! She has been a great friend to pal around with in all of the autumn glory. After our Harry Potter outing, Liv accompanied me to a local farm where, for a mere $5, we enjoyed a walk through a cornmaze, a hayride in the crisp morning air, a small cup of cider, and Liv got to pick out her very own pumpkin! One of the members in our ward organized this fun outing, so a whole herd of kids and moms were able to enjoy this together. I think pictures will do a better job of relating this experience than I can! 

Arriving at Risser Farm. Liv was so happy to be running around outside!

She even sat very nicely through an explanation of all the different kinds of pumpkins found on the farm.

Walking through the cornmaze (which she actually didn't enjoy at all. I attribute it to uneven ground and feeling claustrophobic.)

Picking out her very own pumpkin. 

It was just the perfect size!

Playing in the corn box

This was actually her favorite thing at the farm. She loved "riding" the tractor. When other kids wanted to get on, I would take her off and then she would just stand around touching the tractor until the kids were done. Immediately she wanted to get back on. :)

The very next day we heard that Hershey puts on a parade for Halloween! I had never heard of that before, but boy were we excited.  So we bundled up again and this time we convinced Chris to come with us.  (He is a sucker for parades.) It was everything you think a parade should be. Shameless advertising by local companies and shameless begging for candy by local citizens. A win-win for everyone really. :) Only this time everyone is dressed up in their most elaborate Halloween costumes as they walk down the street. Even the high school marching band had impressive get-ups while playing spooky Halloween songs.  I now think that every town should have a Halloween parade. They are so much more fun than 4th of July parades (sorry Independence Day), not to mention much cooler! I will take a bundled up autumn night over a scorching July morning any day! And here are the pictures! (Much worse quality because my phone can't take night shots.)

We got a pretty good spot right next to the road! It was at the end of the parade, but I don't mind that. Far fewer people!

Our friend Kayla. That's right, Kayla, you couldn't escape all the pictures!

Liv's friend, Sorren, dressed up like a giraffe. The Chen family definitely got into the right spirit for the Halloween parade with full costumes for every member of the family!

Liv and all her loot after the parade. I'm sure mom and dad will steal a few pieces here and there. ;)

And just for fun, here is a picture of Liv painting her perfect pumpkin. I think she has some true artistic ability. ;)

Now do you see what I mean?  We love October!!

Harry Potter-mania!!

Can I just say that I LOVE the fall! Especially here in the East, everything seems so much more vibrant. Even just taking a walk down our street brings feelings of awe and wonder. This last weekend we drove to Philadelphia on the back roads to avoid tolls. It seemed like every five minutes I was exclaiming, "Oh my goodness, this place is just sooo pretty!!"  Chris was in just as much awe as I was so it wasn't annoying. :)

What were we doing in Philly, you may ask? Why, enjoying the annual Harry Potter festival of course! Yes, for two days the city of Chestnut Hill devotes all their man power to hosting thousands of muggles dressed up as witches and wizards, and transforming their town into famous places from J.K. Rawlings' magical world. They had all kinds of activities available, including psychic readings, wand shops, face painting, defense against the dark arts classes, and of course, Honeydukes Candy Shop. (We just had to indulge in that last one.)

We are one cute wizarding family!

Snape and Hermione walking down the street.

Chris had a great time creating a costume for Liv. She is Dobby the house elf! We tried to make her look "authentic" by making a skull cap out of my old nylons, but I thought that made her look creepy. So we just went with the headband.  She illicited many ohhs and ahhs from all the passers-by.

We all had a great time, but I think Chris enjoyed it the most. He was able to let his true kid come out as he enjoyed Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans (and yes, this did include vomit and earwax flavors), drank butter beer, and exchanged spells with a Harry Potter who looked eerily like the real thing.

Who's ready for a Harry Potter movie marathon?!