The Festival of Colors!

5. Go to festival of colors.

I lived in Provo, Utah for four years and never attended this Hari Krishna festival! If there's a possibility that we are leaving Utah this year, I need to check this off my bucket list. 

CHECK!

We finally made is to the Festival of Colors! We went with Kristine and Jason and their kids and we had a blast! The Temple is beautiful and people, for the most part, are good sports.

As you know, this was my first time at the festival. I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I knew there would a lot of color throwing during the massive group-throw they have every hour, but I did not expect a bombardment the moment we walked it. And that is exactly what happened.

We were looking for the booth to buy ourselves some colors when it happened. I suppose we looked way too "clean" and unsuspecting. A group of girls "welcomed" us with a huge "hey!" when we walked in. In an attempt to embrace the festive spirit I opened my arms and reciprocated with a big, mouth-open "hey!" of my own.

At that moment, to my horror, a huge handful of purple dust was thrown in my face, directly into my mouth. I immediately doubled over gagging, trying to expunge the disgusting chalk from my mouth. So much for a warm welcome...

Needless to say, I was seething for the next ten minutes, constantly spitting purple dust from my mouth. It took me awhile before I could get into the proper spirit of color-throwing (instead of trying to find the horrible perpetrator and stuffing her throat with some chalk of my own).

However, all my experiences after that were good ones. People were mostly kind, throwing dust on your clothes and wishing you a happy spring. Elijah had a great vantage point sitting on Kristine's shoulders and happily showered everyone with purple dust.

All in all, I don't think I would make this a yearly tradition, but I am glad I got to experience it at least once!

Happy Spring!

 

Consistencies

Life is great, amazing, and so fun. As I venture further into marriage it becomes more of an ad-venture. Who knows what the ad- prefix denotes; maybe an addictive venture or adorable venture or advantageous venture. I think at times marriage and parenthood have fallen under all of these definitions for me, so read into the ad part as you will. As adventurous as life has been, it can also be pretty monotonous. Especially after welcoming a baby into the family, your life becomes very ordered. It seems like for a while we lived on a three-hour schedule in between feedings. As Olivia has grown up, her schedule has become less iron clad and we have been able to resume a somewhat "live-in-the-moment" kind of lifestyle. As fun as this lifestyle may be, I am a sucker for consistency.

There are a few things that I can count on being consistent, everyday occurrences. Some of them are great. I can consistently count on Olivia trying to eat the cupcakes off of her pajamas when I put them on her. We have never given her cupcakes, so I think this is probably more of an instinct to put anything in her mouth as much as it is her realizing that cupcakes are delicious. Regardless of her intentions, this is a constant. I can consistently count on waking up every morning telling myself I should have gone to bed earlier the night before. I can say this is consistent because somehow it doesn't matter if I went to bed the night before early or late. Regardless, I still want more sleep. I consistently dread my bi-weekly drives to North Ogden to drop Olivia off at the babysitters. This drive has given me a deep respect for my father-in-law who made this same drive every day for ten years. He sacrificed a lot to give his family the life they wanted. It is a very long drive in my mind and no amount of singing to the radio or thinking about my tasks for the day can keep me awake and alert. I consistently call Kara, who talks to me as I finish the long trek to ensure that I don't kill our baby girl. These are all consistencies I am grateful for. They give me something to laugh at, whether it is drool stains over all my daughter’s pajamas, or listening to the crazy happenings of my wife's day.

I can consistently count on the overwhelmingly dreadful feeling deep in my stomach as I lay down to bed each night—the feeling that I didn't accomplish enough that day. It has gotten worse over the past couple months, and is now to the point where unless I am distracted, I dread the night hours past 9 p.m. As I wind down for the night, head on the pillow, I hold myself accountable for all the time I wasted that I could have been studying, or doing something productive. How I am going to finish my classes and the homework I have inevitably pushed off to the last few days. I can count on consistently worrying myself about medical school and the choices that we are going to have to make in the coming months, about where we will end up for medical school and how we will handle our student loans. These choices are so important to our future that I feel sometimes there is no right answer. I no longer see these decisions in terms of what we gain by going one place over another, but in terms of what we will lose. I can consistently count on feelings of doubt and uncertainty in many facets of my life; but amidst all of these uncertainties, are a few of my favorite things in life. Some of my favorite consistencies are these.

1. I can consistently count on my wife every day, for being that one anchor which never drifts, holding me tight to those things which are most important in life. I can consistently count on her to be there to listen to my doubts and uncertainties and to lend me her humble opinions about them. I can consistently count on her voice of motivation, encouraging me to accomplish those tasks in front of me and fulfill my potential. I can consistently count on her head being next to mine on the pillow slowly breathing a calming rhythm as my mind races at night. I can consistently count on her kissing me goodbye in the morning as we both go our different ways, and again kissing me when we come home  to one another reminding me that no matter what kind of a day it has been, two kisses can solve any problem.

2. I can consistently count on Olivia's smile bringing me more joy than I ever knew possible every morning as I come into her bedroom and she beams over the crib bars to let me know she is ready for a new day. I can consistently count on her uncontrolled laugh as I tickle underneath her arms and across her neck. She can consistently count on her slobbery kisses being the only thing that immediately relieves me of whatever homework or task I may be doing to come and play with her. I can consistently count on realizing every day what an amazing daughter I have, and relish in the fact that for at least the next 20 years I have her all to myself.

Among all these consistencies in my life, and during each day, there is one consistency which brings me the most joy of all. It is the one thing that consistently relieves all my heartache and self-absorption. The one consistency which allows me to look on tomorrow as an opportunity to improve myself. It is the one consistency which can make every hardship seem a little less important. It is the consistency of the Savior's sacrifice for us, the atonement, and all that it encompasses. No matter what my problems may be, no matter how hard my decisions are to make, or how poorly I have chosen to use my time, I can consistently count on Christ's atonement to make up for that which I lack and relieve me of any burdens I feel. It is the only consistency that allows me to erase what mistakes I have made for my day, and start again with a fresh slate the next day (which I can consistently say will end in me utilizing this consistency again). Without this gift, none could ever fully meet their potential, and would consistently fall short of their true potential as children of God. It is the only way for any of us to return to our Heavenly Father. It is constant. It is consistent. It is infinite, and I am grateful every day for my opportunity to consistently and constantly achieve my potential and grow closer to the Lord through it.